Uninspired Transitions

I am finding this time of year to, historically, be a notorious time of "uninspiration".  The high of summer has worn off, the heat is tiresome and annoying, and it's not quite fall yet, leaving a sense of anticipation, but not close enough yet to warrant being excited.  Generally just a blah time.  A transition time, to be specific. 

I have adopted a mantra from a very good friend of mine "Change is difficult and transitions are painful".  She coined the phrase when her parents moved in with her for a brief time and all of them were trying to figure out how to live together and not bury each other in the back yard.  I use it when dealing with particularly challenging times in my job, among many other things.  Our school has been deemed a failing inner city school with test scores and graduation rates in the toilet.  In the process of trying to make it successful, we have undergone a MAJOR staff/facility shift and it has been constant change for the last two years.  We will be in transition from exclusively a high school to a K-12 Academy with Energy and Technology magnets for quite a few years to come.  I committed last year to embrace those changes.  The other option is to find a new job.  It is just that simple.  So I was alone this year without my girls in a school of highly ambitious new staff and a bit asea while the new energy and practices of the building came into focus.  Say it with me...change is difficult,  transitions are painful.

The friends of mine that moved on from this school last year were initially heartbroken and nervous, but ultimately they are so, so happy in their new jobs.  The new positions fit like a glove.  I am finally loving my job again after a very long period of answering the question of "Is this still where I was really called to be?" with a resounding YES.  But the process of getting there was not one any of us would necessarily have chosen. 

I look at the yard and have to remind myself to be patient (again with the patience).  It's too early for fall things and summer things are done, the garden with the summer things winding down and the fall things not ready.  More transition.  So how do I fight the let-down, these recurring blues?  How does one practice being better at accepting change?  Because, as we all know, it is the only constant.  And it is most certainly uncomfortable.    

A couple of years ago I was seeing a Craneosacral therapist that reminded me that winter was actually a dormant time.  A "Duh" moment for me.  In my life, it is the amped up season because of my job.  The school year is the busiest time and I certainly don't have time to be dormant.  While unwinding my body (literally), she told me that I needed to go and be out in the season more.  Physically.  Walk in the snow with the dogs, be in the woods while they are quiet and still.  Not something that is a normal part of my routine.  I insulate and create the most artificial environment I can to just keep it all rolling along.  I think we all do to some degree.  We are now a 24 hour, lights-are-always-on, get-it-when-you-need-it society.  That is not a bad thing at all.  In fact, I love that about living in a city and in this time in history.  I have access to total randomness like fried chicken or lawn mowers at 3 AM when I want it (cause that happens all the time).  But sometimes it prevents the natural rhythm of things from taking place.  Or when the natural lull happens, I am thrown out of whack for a bit.  Or I just ignore it because of the noise of my life and end up irritable and unsure why.   

  That winter was the first that I walked almost everyday, even in 20 degrees and snow and it helped.  The dogs and I froze our asses off and were out amongst the trees that were asleep, amid the frozen fields and paths, the only thing moving our breath, billowing out to hang in mid air in clouds.  I felt totally alive and more connected.  Now I am digging in the dirt in the spring and an active participant in the growing season, wallowing in the luxury and abundance of summer.  I apparently need to listen to the winding down time too, reconnect with our great mother Earth, walk the paths with the dog again.  A big, fat, healthy dose of "Be still and in the moment" wouldn't hurt either.  Oh these pesky life lessons. 

  

You Might Also Like

1 comments

  1. Wow! So right on - our lives can get so crazy and we as 'engaged' beings have a hard time not being engaged....or maybe being passively engaged as opposed to being actively engaged. I find myself struggling to 'be still'...especially with 2 kids who absolutely do not know how to be. What a great reminder to let the seasons flow as they were intended and enjoy them for what they are (transitions and all!).

    ReplyDelete