Same Guilt, Different Year

Well with the onset of the New Year comes the inevitable bombarding of everyone's resolutions of weight loss and exercise.  I personally have had those same resolutions for my entire life and have decided to skip the failure this year and not make them at all.   I am sure I have angered some gods somewhere. 

Body image is such a tricky thing, especially for women.  The first half of my life was spent in the theater, where every single role I had was ultimately about how I looked.  I can't even articulate the years I spent in a director's office getting the "If you don't drop some weight, they will cast you as matronly.  You don't want to be the matron."  Even at 137 lbs at nearly 6' tall (that size 6, BTW, required me to work out twice a day and eat less than 1000 calories a day), I can vividly remember the back of my arm being pinched and a sigh from him as he said, "Now if you could just get rid of this".   There was tremendous freedom when I left the theater in that area of my life.  I realized it didn't matter how big my ass got, I didn't have to go for a fitting and hear a costume designer say, "I guess we could try to corset her tighter".  Kristin Bauer is an actress on the HBO series True Blood and she had a quote recently saying that actresses on the set were always hungry and it was a constant state.  I don't want to live like that.  Everyone says that the diets are about "being healthy", but how much is really about our own skewed body image?

The next decade was spent cooking as a part of my livelihood and unfortunately cooks and caterers are not the best eaters because of the schedule.  Needless to say, I still made the same resolutions every year; lose weight, exercise.  This past year has been different in the health department for me.  No more resolutions.  We decided to eat as organic and local as possible and it has made significant changes in this house.  Skin, hair, internal health, digestive health.  All of it.  We notice it more when we revert to eating some crap (drive through of some sort, processed anything) and our bodies go into rebellion mode.  While it has been a season of overindulgence in the food area, we will get back on track soon enough.  I don't know if it is making excuses to eat, but I am working on forgiving myself for not ever having that same body I did years ago.  I don't want to make the decisions and sacrifices to get it that I had to then.  And quite frankly, food is just a tremendous joy and one that I will refuse to give up to be that girl.  Could I do better?  Sure.  I guess we all could.  But I am a work in progress and will keep on keepin on in an effort to be healthy and whole as a woman and a physical being.

The pic above is of my "Getting ready to go back to work" food.  That and some winter salsa (canned tomatoes just hurt my feelings) will help carry me through the culture shock this week.  The granola above goes with a doctored yogurt that makes my mornings better.  A parfait of the yogurt, granola, and blueberries or your fruit of choice is some serious brain food.  Good luck to all of the weight loss warriors out there.  I'll be sending love and good juju to you and your beautiful selves, big asses or not.


4 Cups Organic Oats
1 Cup Sliced Almonds
1 Cup Chopped Pecans
2 Cups Shredded Coconut
1/2 Cup Local Honey
3/4 Cup Oil

Mix all ingredients together.  Spread onto a parchment lined cookie sheet and bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes, stirring halfway through.  Cool completely and store in an airtight container.


1 large container Lowfat Plain Organic Yogurt
1/4 Cup Local Honey
1 Tsp (or to taste) Orange Zest
1 Teaspoon Vanilla
Dried Cherries or raisins

Drain yogurt overnight.  I do this with a colander nested in a work bowl.  I line the colander with paper towels and let it sit in the fridge overnight.  Add drained yogurt back into original container and add honey and orange zest to yogurt and mix well.  Add dried fruit. 

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