Oh the Shame of It All

Lest all of my friends out in the blogosphere think that it is all fabulous wine and perfectly groomed roses here, I thought I would let you all inside some of my not so great places today.  It's those deep dark places that we never speak of.  Like the way we really keep our bathrooms when we don't expect company or our past record for how long in between sheet changes on your bed.  Just those private places of shame that you don't talk about in public.  I mean, I personally would LOVE for folks to go on thinking that my house could pass a white glove test right now, that my garden is like something out of Martha Stewart, and that my food could be up for a James Beard award if I actually could be bothered enough to open a restaurant.  But I say, let the truth be told.  Fling open the doors and let the sun shine in on the dirt...or weeds in my case.  It will be gratifying for all of you to be able to say, "I knew that heifer didn't have it all together" and for me to just come clean about it all and end this farce, this CHARADE I have been living of late. 

This, my friends, is the current state of my garden.  I know.  It's an abomination and an affront to God and man.  Those are actually tomatoes rotting on the vine that you see there.  The bottom of the picture has the leeks that are past ready and kale that is climbing higher to try and reach the sun from the three feet high weeds.  Yep.  Three feet. 

The turn over date has been set for September 30.  It is past time.  I need to put it out of it's misery and move on.  The daily stress of looking at the failure is almost too much to endure.  I really will do better next year. 

My next piece of shame up for show and tell has to do with my front porch.  Every season I change out the cushion fabric on my porch and my sis has been really gracious about sewing it all for me.  Her schedule is so full that cannot happen now.  I thought, "I can do this.  I mean, I DID have countless hours in a costume shop in college.  I DID have to actually MAKE things to pass the class.  How hard can sewing a straight line be?"  So I went to the fabric store and came home with this.  

I know!  It's super cute, isn't it?!  Loved it and knew it could make the transition into winter beautifully.  I was so excited to bring it home and cut it out.  I borrowed my mom's sewing machine and on Friday night, started the project.  

Of course, I had forgotten how to thread a bobbin and even thread the machine but after 20 minutes with the directions I had it!  I can totally do this!  It's like riding a bike!  Then I started to sew.  And started again.  And again.  And again.  And again.  And this was the result.  

Um...can you SEE the stitching on this?!  I fought and cussed and fought and cussed some more (like 45 minutes of fighting and cussing and starting over) and then just gave up and made a drink (at least I could do that right).  I then called my sewing goddess friend and promised her anything she wanted to help me.  I am dropping it off to her tomorrow.  I swear if I had a million dollars I would give it to her.   

OK enough shame for one blog.  I am ready to crawl into fetal position and rock for awhile.  I am going to end with pics of the current state of fall-i-fication at my house.  Much easier to look at than the garden and sewing debacles. 

Mums in the pot,

Fall sedums in,
Ornamental Cabbages in,

Pumpkin brownies baked.  

Man am I glad confession time is over.  I feel so dirty.  I think a brownie will help that.  Til next time friends. 



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