I Didn't Mean RIGHT NOW

While pinning myself into a self induced happy-place-coma this week on Pinterest, I started thinking about my fall door drag.  You know, the unspoken rule here is once you absolutely have your stuff exactly the way you want it and have never loved it more on your porch/mantle/kitchen counter/dining table and have photographed it six ways from Sunday, it's time to start thinking about the next season.  So I started to think about pumpkins and mums and sparkly feathered bliss on my door and began a mental design of  "What does the porch need to feel like in October when I am under a blanket on the swing with a cup of coffee on a cool Sunday morning?"  What?  I told you it was a happy place coma.  Well anyway it was brief lived because then I went out into the ninth circle of hell, also know as the garden.  

As you may or may not know, we had the  Great Compost Misadventure of 2012  and had all of these vine-ing things growing in the garden.  I, of course, wanted to leave some of them because they just might produce something wonderful like butternut squash or cucumbers.  Yeah not so much.  We found out Thursday night that the 75 feet-75 feet- of vine was host to a pumpkin.  Not like four jack-o-lanterns or a dozen sweet little pie pumpkin we could eat. One single mini gourd pumpkin.

This is the culprit.  He's three inches in diameter.  This is what was taking up 75 feet of vine and resources.  Steven called it devil vine as we pulled it (and pulled it and pulled it) out and cursed our rotten luck (OK I know subconsciously he was cursing me for talking him into it but loves me too much to say it).  All of a sudden I was a little panicked.  I mean, I was ready to start thinking about thinking about fall, but I didn't mean right now.  

This week things have been happening at warp speed.  The bathroom demo/renovation begins next week.  Like in 7 days.  I have been thinking about the design and funding, etc, but I don't know if I'm ready for it right now.  I am certainly ready for it to be finished, but that process is a bear.  Then of course I return to work next week.  Like in 6 days.  I knew this day was coming and have been doing much better at not going in to a full-on anxiety attack when I think about it (complete with shortness of breath and a cold sweat) but I wasn't prepared for it to happen right now.   

I started back to yoga this week (ohmygoodness how my body and spirit have missed it) and the fantastic teachers there were reminding all of us about the power of intent; that thought or instant when we make our mind up to actually DO whatever it is we are doing.  Whether that is something as simple moving our body or more complex like implementing changes or new life systems, the moment of decision is a defining one.  And it turns out one that begins a series of happenings.  So much of the change I have been talking about and planning for and waiting on is here.  Right Now.  Ready or not, here life comes.  

The yard is so beautiful and lush right now.  Growing season has been just fantastic this year.  Our flower beds are full to bursting and  I am trying to think about how to thin all of that out next year it is so big.  

My moon flower has bloomed and bloomed and bloomed and smells like something out of an enchanted forest.  The huge blooms only open at dusk and during the night and are about 6-8" deep and 6" wide at the top (that plant is about 4 feet wide).  The bees swarm like kids at an ice cream truck when the blooms first open.  

These herbs all came out of the garden and I cut until I couldn't hold anymore and still didn't make a dent in the ones in the garden.  Seriously the oregano, tarragon, and sage my invade my house before long.  And I am not sure what made me think I needed four kinds of basil, but I am eating it on everything I can think of from eggs to salads to putting it in my ice tea with a wedge of peach.  Pesto this week, for sure.

As an update, this scheduled joy thing has been working really well here.  I have found that my anxiety about not being able to do x, y, or z is being replaced by that little happy buzz of anticipation knowing that I am heading into "garden time", or "BFF time", or "Yoga time" or whatever it is.  The unexpected bonus is that I feel more present and focused in other moments and tasks of the day without feeling resentful and am getting better at setting personal boundaries for quiet instead of passing time and filling my schedule with noise.  Who knew?

The next few days will be spent figuring out a watering schedule to keep all of the yard alive when I go back to work, grocery shopping for that back-to-a-schedule food and trying to luxuriate on the porch and in the yard and garden as much as possible for the last of my free days of summer. I will also be trying to keep the zen when the craziness of "not summer" life begins on Friday.  Menu planning continues for tasting dinners and supper clubs and I have an entire blog coming about amazing creative processes I have been privy to recently.  Until then, be careful what you wish for.  It may just happen.  


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