I Have a Plan

You know that moment in all of the movies where the hero thinks that all is lost?  That series of events that make everyone think it's hopeless and that they have been beaten and it's no use they just can't win and then the hero says, "I HAVE A PLAN".  Then there is a terrific war that is waged where the underdogs unite and everyone fights their hearts out and wins and everyone lives happily ever after as the smoke and fires are clearing in the back ground.  And all they needed was a plan?!  Well this is not like that.  

OK it's kind of like that.  

This is the moment when- amidst the wreckage of bad decisions, tough emotional stuff, and chaos of indecision while things "happen to me"- friends and family unite to come up with a plan to DO IT DIFFERENT.  I know.  That's just crazy talk.  So crazy it just may work.   

Last week I had the lovely opportunity to have multiple girl times and heart to heart cry-your-eyes-out talks.  This is a rare and appreciated event (despite looking like I lost a fight the next morning my eyes are so puffy) and I am quite sure if we all had more times just like these, we could eliminate so much crap drama from our lives and probably fix a multitude of problems.  There is something about holding each other accountable that makes the scary road of new life systems a little less scary.  One night one BFF and I sat on the porch and had champagne and talked about all that needed fixing.  We found that we continued to avoid the question of, "How exactly are we going to do this different?" about 638 times in 3 hours.  We finally decided that we absolutely could not move on in the conversation until we made a concrete decision about ONE thing we were going to change this week.  I know that unless I schedule the joy, it won't happen.  That is so sad and pathetic and speaks volumes about where I am, I know.  I actually had to schedule time to be in the garden this week.  My schedule became a disaster in a hurry (this is with NO WORK keep in mind) and I discovered that this is exactly how time just passes without me taking a hold and making some things that are important and essential to me a priority.  When we finally decided about our plan,  it was like a burden had been lifted.  

Another BFF and I had a great but too-short lunch and a similar conversation began.  This feeling of needing to shed the bullshit and channel the good vibes is prevalent everywhere it seems.  Good vibes are in short supply lately for some reason.  My question to everyone (especially myself) has been, "What one thing are you going to do different this week?  What joy are you going to schedule for yourself?"  My scheduled joy has been so therapeutic.  I still want to vomit when I think about going back to work in a few weeks, but the gut reaction is not as bad (it takes more like 10 seconds to gag instead of 2.5) and I do have some thread of hope about the change coming there.  I pray that more hope replaces dread as the time grows near.    

With the Sunday morning rituals in place here of coffee time on the porch and some sort of reading/researching/master planning to take over the universe type stuff, this morning it is a new event menu.  After multiple conversations about finding my joy and what it is that fills my spirit, event planning ended up high on my list (try to contain your shock). We have a new supper club that will start in the fall which I am jazzed about, but I needed an event before then.  A "Flight" event is in the works inspired by an amazing dinner my mom and I had in Nashville recently (I'll keep you posted.  It is looking pretty cool).  I am thrilled to be knee deep in cookbooks and recipes and conversations about food delivery to your mouth so that the whole taste profile happens simultaneously and what does that look like?  Plate?  Shot glass?  Large soup spoon plated on an accent plate?  How many wine glasses will we really need for four courses with tastings?  The coil loosens and I am no longer overwhelmed in this moment.  Who knew?  Oy...

Since I was here last, we were at the lake for a year a few weeks.  Lake time was a total bust for the adults with a terrible house, failed promises by the house owner, no outdoor living spaces, ungodly hot temperatures, not nearly enough boat time for my taste, me breaking my foot, and a general feeling of "We could be at the beach for what this is costing us".  The kids, however, had a ball.  That's usually the way it is.  I took exactly 12 pictures while we were there.  Yep.  12.  There is my level of fun.  I usually take 400.  These are a couple of the good ones.  My oldest nephew perfecting his back flip off the side of the boat.

This Mr. Man on the boat in the cove.  I can't take the cuteness.  He and I had serious video game time and mom and my sis threatened to get us headsets so we could game together.

Last but certainly not least, the yard is full on Jurassic grow mode.   Just a few shots of it.  

The two photos below were taken of the same bed one month apart.  It is mind boggling what happens in one month.  I will advocate the purchase of smaller plants over larger ones every time.  In addition to the cost savings, the smaller ones establish their root system faster and they just take off.  I had anticipated the bed looking like this at the end of next summer.  I may be in trouble.  Crazy growth.

June 13

July 12

The next few weeks will be full of a bunch of unavoidable crap and my new scheduled spirit filling time.  I may just schedule a little more of it.  Fake it 'til you make it, friends.  Schedule it until you don't have to anymore.  In the meantime, you can find me in the garden, or cooking, or sweeping my front porch, or watering, or menu planning...at the precisely appointed times in my schedule.   

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