We have it twisted.  Somewhere along the lines, something has gone terribly, terribly wrong.  We have moved into this worship place where we hold up something and say, "Look at this!  THIS is what we should aspire to be!! This THIS is what we should strive to attain".  The problem is that what we are holding up is utter, unadulterated crap.

The Glorification of Skinny
Original photo credit not known.  Link was from
Something seriously bad happened between the 50's and today.  I am going to blame the cocaine/heroine chic crap from the 80's and 90's for it.  We went from the glorification of Marilyn Monroe and Jane Russel curvaceousness to this above.  I pin an extraordinary amount of fashion photos on Pinterest.  Love fashion, but 90% of the time I find myself saying out loud, "Damn girl.  Eat a carb already"  I am full up with the media driving this unhealthy skinny ass train into women's heads and helping to create the rampant culture of body shame.  I am ready for a new dialogue.  One that brings about more bodies that look like this.

Special thanks to Boudoir Louisville for the stunning images

And this...

Special thanks to Boudoir Louisville for the stunning images

And this...

Special thanks to Boudoir Louisville for the stunning images

One that is HEALTHY.  Healthy food, healthy movement.  If we want to glorify something, let's glorify what your hair, skin and nails look like from eating good local stuff that hasn't been engineered in a lab, sprayed for bugs, and processed within an inch of it's life.  Let's glorify the ruddy red faces and sweaty hair lines from a good hard walk or run.  Let's glorify the gorgeous curves created from the babies she has carried or the beautiful genetics she inherited that make her body her own; skinny, fat, thick, thin, tall, short, voluptuous, willowy, whatever.  If you are skinny by genetics, that is awesome.  If you work your tail feathers off in the gym because you love to work out, tear it up, sister.  If you love yourself right where you are- more power to you.  But I am finished letting the Armani runway define what our waist size is. 

My stunning niece (the smart, pretty, athletic, artistic one) has entered the beginning of what will, most likely, be a lifetime of body shame.  A lifetime.  It makes me sick to think about it.  So I will be changing who is driving the train in my house.  You will be seeing a lot more curves on my Pinterest pages.  I will be seeking out the rounder forms in my fashion pics like the celebrated bodies above and rocking my own curves a little more.  

The Glorification of Busy

I am not exactly sure when this gem happened.  I started to become inundated with it during the market crash and last presidential election.  I think it is a noble thing to work hard.  Make no mistake, the fruits of labor from hard work are a very satisfying reward.  However, going a million miles an hour all of the time may make you a hard worker, but it does not make you a better person than someone who doesn't.  Working four jobs, 80-100 hours a week to stay poor and keep your house from foreclosure does not make the person working 40 a bum, it makes you a victim of a broken system.  Not wanting to work 80 hours a week doesn't make you lazy, it only defines your priorities.   

I hear parents do this as well with their kiddos.  I know first hand the pressures that are on kids to "get ahead" and that colleges want to see varied interests on applications.  If your kids are eating dinner in the back of the car 5 nights a week from one activity to the next, doing homework in between chicken nuggets, I understand more about what the priorities are in your house.  That is not a statement of judgement.  That is a defense of those houses whose kiddos don't do all of those activities when I hear statements on the pool deck about swimmers having a "lack of commitment".   It is only commitment in a different area.

I actually had a professional conversation this week where an administrator was upset because an employee didn't spend more time doing a job for the ridiculously low amount of money that they were being paid.  I had to actually defend this person because they didn't work harder for their pittance, ask the question out loud did the administrator think the employee missing more of their already limited family time was worth the roughly $5 an hour it usually works out to.  The defense was "all of my other employees work harder".  Well that's great for them.  Apparently it doesn't work for some and that should be OK too.  

Enough with the glorification of busy!  Be still.  Ask yourself if you really think all of this is OK.  If it is, that is great.  But if it's not for someone else, that needs to be OK too.

The Glorification of Comparing

You know what those are?  Photos of a great table, stunning meal, and a really fun event that I hosted.  You know what?  I rocked that because I happen to be really freaking awesome at that.  It's a gift of mine, a passion, and something I work hard at all of the time, everyday, constantly seeking new images, ideas, and working my creative muscle to its limit as often as I can. 

You know what that is?  It's my garden right now.  It has nothing in it that didn't volunteer from previous years because I couldn't manage to get it together to have one.  It is a giant critter infested weed pile, ugly and mocking me daily as I leave and come home.  My laundry room looks like something out of an episode of Hoarders and there is a 1" layer of dust on everything in my house and- for the love of all that is holy- please don't ask to use my bathroom right now. 

My point here is that we all have things where we are rock stars.  We also all have areas where we suck.  OWN WHERE YOU ARE AWESOME, work on where you want to be better, and let the rest go.  I have seen blogs where folks have de-activated their Pinterest account because of the pressure that they felt from the projects there.  I have heard people TEAR SOMEONE UP because they were gifted in an area and excelled ("that heifer doesn't really do all that.  Who does she think she is?  Martha?").  Seriously? 

This is not a competition folks.  This is about all of us on our own journey.  I long to see what projects my friends are doing.  I am giddy with the pictures and stories of what wonderful things all of the talented people I know are doing because they have worked REALLY hard to get there.  If you think gorgeous stuff is pulled out of thin air, you are sadly mistaken.  Because I have friends that are stunning supermodel-like beauties that sing like angels, or are awesome professional photographers, or are gardening a 1/2 acre like a boss and canning/freezing/raising chickens, or slinging food with the top chefs in the city at all of the best events doesn't mean I hate them (or me) for that.  I may be jealous of their talents, but that is about my own BS and I try really hard to get that shit in check as quickly as it rears it's ugly head.  

I want to celebrate what we all do well.  I want to cheer for the strides we all make to craft our own, uniquely magnificent lives.  Let go of the comparing because none of us are posting pictures of our storage closets disasters or garden and yard failures.  Comparing ourselves is toxic and unproductive and is hindering our own progress.  If you want to be a great seamstress, then go get a machine, take a class and work on that.  Want to take stunning portraits of your kids all of the time?  Spend some time researching and practicing.  Dying to paint murals like a pro?  Buy a set of brushes and spend the hours and hours of time it takes to hone that craft.  And then post your stuff cause I want to be your cheerleader and have you explain the details of the design.  I eat that up.

I am tired of it all being twisted.  Keep working your magical talents, friends, and I will work mine.  And let's build something awesome that is worth glorifying. 

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  1. Well if you're gonna rant this is the way to do it! Right on! Push that soap box over here! Things are twisted on so many levels! Go be happy, I don't care if it means you are in a cubicle or in the garden of eat'n. Just be. I learned a long time ago if I put blinders on and didn't care what the person next to me or in front of me or behind was doing I had a pretty good day. I started to say; "I don't care" a LOT! I also found myself using words like: pee-shaaaa...... I also learned there was no right or wrong there just was that moment in time when I was sublimely happy. And ya know when I gardened full time the little girls had to wait for the big girl (me) to show up so the trees could get planted and holes dug. I can do big girl things and I love that!
    And I made the best hot fudge sauce last night and it was good! :)
    Rock those big girl panties!! :)

  2. Yes, yes and YESS!!!! On every level. Thank you for saying this! XOX